Saturday, September 4, 2010

How Friendly Is Too Friendly?

What's the politically correct response to finding out a spouse has "friended" (Facebook)  someone they used to go out with?  I have no answer to that question although, I can tell you my response was not Hallmark card pretty and it was pretty irrational.

 Now here's the thing, I know that I can trust my husband.  His actions don't show that he is planning to cheat, but they are an indication (to me) of a general lack of consideration.  In his defense, he accepts anyone who puts forth a friend request. Now for the prosecution's side, he seems to rarely consider how his words or deeds might affect me.


His efforts at consideration are a different story when it comes to other things.
For instance, when we stay at a hotel, he picks up his socks and towels. He also straightens the bed and room for housekeeping. Here his socks go straight to the floor beside the bed for me to pick up. He uses the same thinking at a restaurant putting the remnants of the meal on one plate and stacking all the dishes for the wait staff.  At home,  I stand alone in the kitchen cleaning up after each meal (unless we have guests-then he helps).  In all fairness, if I ask he is willing to help.



This certain "friend" of his commented on a family photo which is how I became aware of the situation. I ,with great poise and dignity, politely asked, "Isn't this the girl you went out with just before me?" (in my mind that's how it happened). In reality, it was more of an indignant barking of the question as my head spun round exorcist style.
Now,  I confess to searching for blasts from my past but never, never, would I ask to befriend one.  I am curious but not to the point of opening a window of communication.  Am I wrong to be upset?  Sparta sure thinks so. What do you think?

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