Overwhelmed and Underpaid

I can almost feel the color fleeing my hair's follicles. Ben is at the optometrist because he lost a contact down the drain, his LAST contact. They were kind enough to work him in today.  About 2 hours ago he sent me a text it read, "mom, I have glaucoma". If you have a mental soundtrack, you can cue the mom freak out music now.

  As those of you who read this blog know, there have been questions as to whether or not  Ben will graduate in May due to his failure to complete a research paper; and the drama doesn't end there. We have been on a roller coaster with him  these past several weeks with more long drops than we like. Roller coasters make me sick and this emotional one has had the same effect on me physically as the real deal would have done.
Sparta and I have fretted over whether or not Ben will ever do what he needs to do to be self supporting. We fear his becoming a permanent fixture in the basement. Anyway,  back to the text message -my mind went immediately to "oh no he's going blind-he'll never leave now."  I know that sounds harsh, someone probably needs to slap a little motherly sense into me. However,  if only you knew ALL the drama,you'd understand my fears. I literally ran out of the Freshway, where I was shopping, and dialed Sparta, upon the first ring my phone flashed new message from Ben, "just kidding".  Argh! I wonder how many of my brown hairs lost their color on account of this one.

He is only one factor, the teenage girls who were once my sweet Barbie playing, mommy-lovin' daughters are testing a few boundaries these days too. Allison, newly permitted to drive, gets behind the wheel at every opportunity. She is a good driver, new but good; I am a bad passenger, old and  jumpy.
Leah is pushing buttons, slamming doors and being more defiant than I ever imagined. She was the most easy going of our children. She always tried to please us and when there were issues, she would take her punishment and then just get over it, no hard feelings, no grudges. Take note of the past tense in the previous sentence. Now, I "ruin" at least one of their lives on a daily basis, or so I'm told.

Wesley ,my baby, is still a little boy who plays with toys but the attitudes of his siblings seem to be aging him beyond his years which in turn is aging me beyond my years. I thought kids were supposed to keep us feeling young.

I repeatedly tell myself and anyone else who will listen, I believe this is God's way of preparing me to let them leave the nest.

The seven trips to doctors' offices(over a 10 day period) due to sick children and the $3000 deductible we haven't yet met have contributed to the feelings of being overwhelmed too. The "I just hit someone in the Walmart parking lot" phone call I received  earlier in the week triggered some stress. It wasn't a joke. Joy.

Anyway, I am venting this all to you because Doctor Oz's show was about stress levels today- I took his quiz and it confirmed what I already knew, I am highly stressed.  You can take the test too just click the link  http://www.doctoroz.com/quiz/great-american-stress-test . 
It was recommended to keep emergency stress relief supplies on hand. These would be items which affect the senses in ways that relax a person and would be unique to the individual. I think my current soothers would be a hot vanilla-lavendar scented bubble bath, some Jason Aldean music, and jelly beans.


He also said that people needed talk about their stress to help alleviate it. I must admit I do feel better now.