Closure Is A Good Thing

There is a lot to be said for closure.  For over a year now, I have been dealing with an issue that has weighed heavily on my mind and heart.  It has caused me many sleepless nights and my poor husband has had to listen to me drone on and on playing a game of mental ping pong with myself while disseminating every minute detail of the possibilities.

Our last move made it possible to rekindle a friendship from several years ago. Everything appeared to be on the right track to move forward in the relationship.  Well, initially it did.  We shared meals, talked on the phone at least weekly, walked at the local track, and even went through a very intense bible study. Not only were we friends, our husbands were friends as well.

From my viewpoint, it all ended rather abruptly on her end. Although I continued to call and issue invitations, they were rebuffed and without any explanation as to why. After several months I gave up. The husbands remained close, but these men did not carry on the "feeling" conversations that we women would have. They played their games and then went home. I never knew what happened.

I theorized, worried, cried and was wounded by the lack of value I felt had been placed on something real to me. When we learned this couple would be moving to another state, I felt that there would never be any resolution.  I knew I should just let it all go(easier said than done).

An opportunity presented itself  just before their move and praise the Lord, I have closure. We (as a family) went to say good-bye and it was at that time, she told me why she had been avoiding me.  The unfortunate thing is she had some misguided notions that had led to her decision to end the friendship.  Things that she had speculated but that were completely untrue had caused her to distance herself.

It's a pity that rather than deal with her issues head on, they were allowed to fester and grow worse, much like an infection left untreated.  If only she had come to me with her concerns, if only I had questioned her about what had changed for her. Since I can't turn back time for a do-over I guess I'll  just try to keep in mind there is really only one "IF" in life and it comes between the "L" and the "E".
Maybe next time something of this nature happens, I'll be bold enough to address it.

The fact that she shared these things on the eve of the move didn't change a thing in our relationship. However, I am now able to let go of the hurt because it was acknowledged.  Closure is a good thing.