Staples

  As a kid, I never understood pantry staples.  I was familiar with the small bent metal that kept my papers together and certainly didn't see any similarity between it and flour, sugar or oil.  Now all grown
up for some 20+ years and queen of my own kitchen, I understand how a kitchen stocked with certain items just makes sense. Keeping them on hand means I have the ability to make all sorts of goodies anytime the mood strikes.  Those staple items are how many a tasty meal has made it to the table.

I looked up the word "staple" to make sure my understanding was in line with the definition. Webster's had one that struck a chord - a sustaining or principal element.    

 An additional definition covered the bent metal which is used to secure objects or items.  Thinking about the two meanings, I had an "aha" moment where I realized the connection between them in that principal elements are necessary to secure the identity of things.  In relationships we have have staples.  A staple in marriage is the intimate moments shared only by the husband and wife. Between parents and children the unconditional love and unsolicited advice so freely given.  The traditions and special gatherings of extended family are staples of my childhood memories.  They sustain me and are a key part of who I have become.

 Our family had many extended family gatherings. They were extended both in the time spent at them and the number of uncles, aunts, and cousins who made appearance there. There were Sunday dinners, birthday celebrations, and holiday get togethers.

 We recently lost a staple of my mom's family. Her brother, Cecil, who rarely made appearance at any of the functions in recent memory but always got a plate of food delivered. Uncle Cecil who was our family's household handyman and the go to guy for auto repairs succumbed to cancer on May 29th.  In this life he lost two wives to car accidents, he lost the daughter he adopted to her mother's relatives, he made some poor decisions(but who among us has not), bought two homes where he would never have the opportunity to reside, and lost another to fire. He became what I affectionately call eccentric and reclusive as the years rolled on by.

At his funeral no one other than family was present as was his request. It was the first occasion in years where we all were present.  We reminisced about the days when he would hide the vegetables we didn't like so that we would be able to leave the dinner table. As children he told us stories that would mesmerize -either scaring or delighting and as we got older he rescued us from broken down cars.  He was dearly loved and his absence from our lives will mark all future gatherings.

In this life I don't believe he ever found peace.  I so hope to see him again on the other side of eternity full of joy and with all the love and promise this life dangled his way  but that always seemed to be just a bit out of his reach.