The First Step

Since the first step towards success in so many problems is in admitting there is a problem, here goes. True confession, I am a shopaholic. I don't seek out designer labels or lavish home decor just the average and ordinary; groceries, clothing and stuff.  I guess if it weren't for the plastic I use it would be okay but I've dug a really big money pit and although  reasons excuses abound, the reality of it is I just like to shop.

I had a conversation with a friend recently where I disclosed the ugly truth of my habit. The talk made me ponder the "whys" of my spending.  I have shopped to fill voids and to some degree for the attention I garner from store clerks as they ring up the purchases. Really sad, huh? Worse still, I have tried to keep said ugly truth from my husband.  It's embarrassing at least and will affect family finances for years at worst.

He found out recently (because I told him) and although very angry initially at the amount of debt and even more so at my lack of self- control, he showed mercy and forgave me.  I must admit the guilt of my debt burden was overwhelming me.  I went to bed thinking about it and woke up thinking about it, not the amount so much as the deception involved.  Feelings of guilt made me sick.  I am thankful that the truth is now out and I have a plan to pay off the debt, one balance at a time.  Prayers for strength of resolve and self-discipline would be appreciated greatly. Also, if you feel inclined to send a few dollars my way to help with the paying down feel free to do so (just kidding, kind of ☺).

So, what have I learned?  Credit can be a dangerous thing. Guilt has great weight. My husband is a man who practices forgiveness and mercy.  I have a long road to zero balances. God still loves me and so does Sparta.